Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in marriage's InsaneJournal:

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011
8:02 pm	11 Tips For The Matrimonially-Challenged Ahhh, jumping the broom. It’s not for everyone, but it's manageable if you have the right information. I was completely caught off guard by some of the situations I’ve encountered in nearly eleven years of holy matrimony and if you’re not prepared, you’ll be running full speed ahead back to the single life. Fortunately, my husband and I loved each other enough to pull our family together and live happily ever after. You say you want happily ever after also? Well, I submit to you a list of valuable lessons I've learned throughout the years. Of course, I can't really promise you eternal love, but a few of these tips will save you from unnecessary suffering, guaranteed. *Be crowned the king/queen of two-timing BEFORE you commit In other words, it's so much easier to play the field while you’re single, instead of getting married and deciding you want to see a whole lot of other people. Seems like this would be easy to figure out, right? Well, apparently it’s not. Some people don’t realize the big mess they’ve created until it’s way too late and they’re unable to come back from it. Can you say: Alimony, monthly child-support payments and a second job to support yourself? Not to mention various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal. *Marry someone you are also friends with. Declare to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will be nonexistent for short periods of time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better half like each other, as well as love each other, the foundation that was built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Besides, being best friends with your spouse makes marriage so much more fun! *Don't put your spouse on a pedestal Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for plenty of them. If you're looking for the perfect spouse and marriage you're probably living in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply in our vows, but we all act a little human sometimes and vows become the hardest thing in the world to stick to. This is to be expected, so try not to come down too hard on your other half for not being a saint at all times and the two of you will be just fine. *Leave the past in the past Geez, are you still nagging about all those awful things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear the remix of how much of a jackass they used to be, especially when you all agreed to work it out and things are going great. If you just can't stop bringing it up every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. Otherwise, concentrate on the good things and push forward. *Put your spouse and children first Nothing is going to send you to divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for your mother, father or siblings happiness. Your main responsibility is to keep your house in order. If your parents and siblings can't get with the program, be prepared to take a hiatus from them until they have learned to respect you and your mate. If something in them forbids them to do so, stay true to the one who really matters and that should be you. If you truly want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from a distance. *Never disrespect your home You already know your family hates your husband/wife, so stop going to them and talking behind his or her back whenever you two have an argument. One, it just makes your family loathe your spouse even more and two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you're pouring salt on your significant other. Also, keep your house a home by not having the wrong people coming and going. This is bad for any relationship, married or not. Keep the drama queen/king out of your house, they're only looking to start trouble. *Keep marital advice from someone who isn't married to a minimum Realistically, you probably shouldn’t take marital advice from someone who has never been married, just like you probably shouldn't take childrearing advice from someone who doesn't have kids. I know it sounds a little harsh, but it makes sense. Would you take flight instruction from someone who has never even had flight training? I wouldn’t. In my experience, my unmarried friends have never said anything that could help my marriage. (Sorry guys, I know you tried, but...) Personally, I like to seek advice from older, experienced couples. There is no better way to prepare for marital warfare, than to get guidance from someone who has already been in combat and survived. *Support your husband or wife’s endeavors Why do you shoot down every idea your sweetie comes up with? Will it really kill you to be supportive for once? No one will exist on a single thought for the rest of their lives. Realize that people grow and with growth comes change. It's understandable your spouse has aspirations outside of going to work and paying bills. Is your opposing attitude holding him back from starting that small business? Are you laughing her away from her dream of becoming an actress? Be supportive of your life companion’s dreams because if it works out for them, it will really work out for you. *Keep passion alive! She used to wear sexy boy shorts while the two of you were dating, but since you've been married and had two children all she’s worn to bed are her gigantic granny bloomers. He used to say something flattering to you everyday, but now he barely notices you. These are common complaints and it can wreak havoc in a marriage. Life is busy and we all get weary from our day-to-day affairs, but just remember to take a little time out to spoil your spouse every once in a while. Let them know that you haven't forgotten about them and you appreciate all of their efforts. Show them that you are still the person they fell in love with even though life can get in the way. Your partner will surely return the favor. *Communicate often Talk to your spouse everyday about something other than the kids, the house, and the bills. Even if you don't spend a lot of time in the house together, a cell phone will solve that problem. Be sure to get some time to yourselves; go out on a date every once in a while or just snuggle on the couch and talk about constructive things. In my opinion, communication is the key to a successful marriage. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who won't even talk? Who wants to have a disagreement, but not be able to discuss it intelligently? I'm a huge fan of heated discussions. At least we're communicating; not going in a room, slamming the door and stewing for hours. Let's hash it out, get it over with and make up. And who doesn't like making up? Wink. Don’t forget to: *Pray! Pray everyday for your marriage, your home and children. Prayer can bring reassurance and ease your mind when things go haywire. Do you know what would be even better? Pray together. You already know the saying, “the family that prays together, stays together!” Seo Services Online Listing Cheap Directory Free Submission One Way Links (Comment on this)
8:02 pm	46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested. But please don't change anything. Signs of a Cheating Spouse: 1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy. 2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.) 3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you. 4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it. 5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard. 6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program. 7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know. 8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office. 9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill. 10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. 11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate. 12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt. 13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?" 14) He buys himself new underwear. 15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car. 16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring. 17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry. 18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back. 19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques. 20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you. 21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often. 22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. 23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house. 24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days. 25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music. 26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence. 27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance. 28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed. 29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home. 30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously. 31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt. 32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off. 33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse. 34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger. 35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice. 36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home. 37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right. 38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home. 39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly. 40) She has a "glow" about her. 41) Atypical erratic behavior. 42) He sneaks out of the house. 43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed. 44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later. 45) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number. 46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place. Submit Urls To Web Directory Directory Submission Internet Directory And Portal (Comment on this)
8:02 pm	A Bridesmaid Gift for Your Best Friend ‘Will you be my bridesmaid’? The all-important question you may ask your best friend or even your sister, who you want to be your bridesmaid or maid or honor. You would want the important person in your life to be there for you and be a part of your most memorable day. It is a special moment when you are surrounded by your loved ones, taking care of you before the wedding and during. How would you show your love and affection to this special person and how will you show your gratitude to her, for being there with you through all those childhood years and being there for you and standing there with you on your wedding day. That’s how the tradition of bridesmaid gifts came into being. Apart from the maid of honor, there are other bridesmaids too that you would want to thank for by giving bridesmaid gifts. Preparing for your wedding is an tedious task for these bridesmaids, especially the maid of honor who has a lot of preparing to do. A bridesmaid gift given with love will make all the difference and makes them feel appreciated. There are several things that can be given as bridesmaid gifts. Usually all bridesmaids are given the same bridesmaid gifts, except for the maid of honor, who gets a special gift for her extra effort. You can also buy a different gift for each one of them or buy the same gift with different colors etc. These days you can even get something personalized made for each one of them. You can give them necklaces and earrings as bridesmaid gifts, for them to wear with their bridesmaid dresses. You can even individually see that you meet their personal tastes. A good wine box along with a bottle of her favorite vintage wine is a great bridesmaid gift. There are toiletry bags to take care of beauty supplies. You can buy a good one with a mirror and enough space to put all toiletries. How about pearl necklaces if you are wearing pearls too, so that all of you look synchronized together and they get a beautiful gift of a lifetime too. There are several things you could give as bridesmaid gifts, bath robes, make up kits, gift pouches, chains, perfumes, and anything at all that you would give as a gift on any special occasion. Only thing is, you will need to keep each ones personality in mind while buying bridesmaid gifts. Don’t buy things you cannot afford. Be within your budget and buy something that you know they would love. It is the thought that matters, that you care for them. Whatever you buy as the bridesmaids gifts, make sure to get something more expensive or an extra gift for your maid of honor. By giving bridesmaid gifts, the bride is thanking them for their effort in putting her wedding together. Bridesmaid gifts are a token of appreciation and love. Don’t forget the thank you note. A beautiful bridesmaid gift along with a thank you note does wonders for a long lasting friendship. Directory Of Websites Web Directory Organized By Subject Human-Edited Web Directory (Comment on this)
8:01 pm	A Man's Guide to the Perfect Filipina Bride In order to find your perfect Filipina match you must first know what real Filipina women are (not the misperceptions of Filipinas you have grown up with) and make sure you can deal with certain issues once the marriage is official. Do Filipina women prefer Western men to Filipino men? All a Filipina wants when looking for a man is a stable lasting relationship. Considering the double standards in the Philippines and the fact that they don’t have divorce, it is true that Filipina women have a lot to contemplate when considering marrying a Filipino man. Western men are perceived as being more modern and loving than Filipinos so it is no surprise when they are more desirable for a life companion. Do Filipina women prefer men who are many years their senior? Statistically, Western men who are looking for a Filipina wife are above the age of 35. What makes them desirable is that they are perceived by Filipinas as more mature, less promiscuous, and financially stable. Such men have a better than average income, a college education and most have been divorced once and are seeking a stable lasting life-long relationship. Is it true that Filipinas are submissive little sex kittens? Now here is the inconsistency. Many western men want their future Filipina wife to be a virgin, and yet they are unwilling to accept the limitations that such virtue implies. They wish for a wife with no sexual history, yet hope that she has nothing else on her mind other than to please their sexual desire. In reality many Filipinas have advanced degrees of education and professional lives. It could hardly be presumed that their only purpose in life is to fulfill some man's wildest dreams. What you do get when marrying a Filipina is woman dedicated to her family and striving to keep her marriage successful. Do you want a big family? Family will always remain a great priority for Filipino women; and not just any family, but a big extended family. Ask yourself if you want a big family and children (more children) because you can be sure that any Filipina does. Are you religious? There are three primary religions in the Philippines: 83% Roman Catholic, 9% Protestant and 5% Muslim. It is common amongst Filipino society to raise the family in the church. So be prepared for some soul-searching on this matter since she is probably more devoted to her religion than you are to yours. Your perspective Filipina bride would most likely dream of a church wedding, and some families even forbid their daughters to get married without one. Are you ready to accept your new wife's family as your own? You should be prepared to provide financial assistance to your new, extended family when they have a need of medical attention, or things like schooling or food. If you are capable and refuse to help them, your lack of generosity would be inexplicable for your Filipina wife and though she may not say anything, she will neither respect you nor understand. Are you looking for a Filipina wife because you hate the women of your own country? You realize that it is not reasonable to hate an entire gender, right? Even within the confines of a single country. If you are marrying a Filipina, it should be because of who she is, not who she is not. Basically these are the main guides you should follow when deciding whether a Filipina wife is right for you. If you can handle these issues, I think you have made a great decision by choosing a Filipina for your life companion and I can only wish you luck in finding the perfect Filipina bride for you! Web List General Directory Free Internet Portal Link Submit Link Exchange (Comment on this)
8:01 pm	A Marriage Made in Maui Heaven Looking for a paradise wedding, or have friends that are looking for the perfect place to get married? We have lots of romantic ideas for a heavenly Maui wedding. At the beach, near a waterfall or in a chapel, with the fragrance of tropical flowers borne on gentle trade winds caressing your face -- a Maui sun bids ‘Aloha’ to another day in Paradise. It is quite simply, the perfect place to celebrate your wedding vows. Here are a few of the ingredients that will imprint your wedding day on your minds for years to come. Maui, Hawaii is the second largest island in the Hawaiian archipelago in both size and population, located some 1,800 miles off the south western seaboard of the United States. Hawaii is one of the top tourist destinations for the majority of Americans and hence a Maui wedding is highly desirable, taking place in one of the world’s foremost wedding and honeymoon destinations. The weather in Maui is also most attractive as it is year round tropical; however it is most consistently pleasant outside the months of January and February (dead of winter). Maui offers several fascinating attractions, including the unforgettable sight of a surfacing whale, biking through wine country, snorkeling the tiny atoll of Molokini, or enjoying a stage production at the Historic 'Iao Theater. A reasonable stay of seven days, or more is recommended if you want to explore more than one Hawaiian Island. Maui, Hawaii offers the enamored an ideal place to declare their love. Several professional services for Maui Weddings are in great demand, and wedding providers such as ParadiseMaui.com are at hand to assist in every way, from classic beach weddings to larger formal affairs. A beautiful wedding of land and sea, the island of Maui offers newlyweds any number of romantic options. An authentic Maui wedding might require the services of a ‘kahu’, which is a Hawaiian minister. A Maui wedding may also include an elaborate ‘luau’ (pronounced loo-ow) celebration. A luau is a Hawaiian gathering of family and friends to enjoy good food, company and times. In addition to the Hawaiian tradition of the ceremony, many couples decide to incorporate the exchanging of the lei, where each person gives their betrothed a lei. (A lei is a flower necklace.) For the bride, the pikake lei seems to be one of the most popular varieties because of its sweet fragrance and delicate appearance. Pikake is a seasonal flower and has limited availability, but there are many other fragrant flowers to choose from. Grooms usually receive a maile lei, which is quite masculine and drapes loosely around the neck. The maile lei has beautiful green leaves which have a sweet smell and little fragrance. It also dries quickly and can be retained as a cherished keepsake for many years to come. Another tradition that is sometimes performed is the conch shell announcement of the ceremony. Here a conch shell blower introduces the nuptials, and a Hawaiian chanter often follows in precession. A hula dance usually adds the perfect touch of Hawaii and can portray a beautiful message of love. Some brides have even taken it upon themselves to learn a hula dance and perform it as a surprise to their grooms. (The hiring of a professional hula dancer can be easily arranged.) Hawaiian music can easily be adapted for any wedding. A soulful ukulele and guitar accompaniment can evoke the most melodic sounds. The “Hawaiian Wedding Song” is a popular request for many wedding couples here in Maui. Paid Directory Web Links Submit Links Directory Add Your Web Site (Comment on this)
8:01 pm	A Stag Night Planning Primer The stag night is a tradition that goes all the way back to Ancient Greek times when the boys in Sparta gathered for a last blowout before one of their mates stepped off the abyss into married life. While we don't have the films from those early stag do's, we've got a hunch that not a lot has changed since then. The idea is to get piss-drunk, stuff your face with the best food you can get and get your fill of all the things you'll be missing once you tie the knot (read: all the other birds in the bush that you're trading in for the one in the hand). The honor of planning the stag do traditionally falls to the best man - the fellow you can count on through thick and thin, rain and shine, night or day, drunk or sober.. the chap who knows where to find the strippers, booze bars and paintball courts. If that's you and you haven't the foggiest notion where to start, here's some handy tips to help get you started on the path to perdition - or at least the road to the boozy blast you know you can plot. 1. First things first. Know your mate. The stag do is meant to be HIS night of ignominy, not yours. Before you make arrangements to hire the 40 Salomes with seven veils between them, be sure it's the type of thing he'll appreciate. 2. Once you've got that part out of the way, it's time to start figuring out where to find those Salomes... or something like that. If you've chatted it out and decided that nothing will do for your mate but a full-blown stag weekend, you'll need to get right on the horn to start making arrangements. Stag weekends are big business, and many of the more popular activities and venues are booked up to six months in advance. Get those enquiries out, and be prepared to put down a few deposits to hold dates open. 3. One Month Ahead (Two if you're doing an overseas stag weekend) - run the guest list past your stag, even if you don't tell him that's what it is. It's only fair for him to actually LIKE the folks he's spending his last free party with. Then... send out the invites to give everyone plenty of time to make plans to attend the stag do. 4. Two weeks ahead - confirm all the reservations for your stag night, just to be on the safe side. While you're at it, either designate a driver for the night, or reserve a limo to do the honors. You want everyone at the wedding - not sitting in a lonely jail cell. 5. No matter how tempting it is, don't accept too much help from your buds. The more hands there are on the wheel, the more likely it is that someone will drop the ball - or something like that. You're most likely to get everything done and in place if you see to it yourself. 6. OR - get professional help. If you hire a professional tour organiser to put together the plans for your stag weekend, you can just see to it that everyone shows up with their embarrassing jokes and gags - and sit back to enjoy the best stag do you didn't have to plan. Classifieds Online Directory General Directory Internet Portal (Comment on this)
8:01 pm	3 Things to Pay Attention to for Your Budget Wedding Getting married is one of your most important day of our lives. Some people tend to have a budget wedding as to save their money for some practical reasons. What important to know is that a budget wedding does not mean a cheap wedding. It all depends on how smart you plan your budget wedding. There are many aspects that you can cut cost of your wedding expenditures. However, you should pay attentions on some aspects so that you will not sacrifice the quality of it. First, Wedding Photography and/or Videography. A professional wedding photography can charge you anywhere between $1000-$3000. You might think that you can just ask your friend or relative to take your wedding pictures. It is a No No. Wedding pictures and videos are the only things that you can see or view to re-live your wedding moments in future. If you really need to cut your budget, try asking around from some photography clubs. There are some members out there who really have a hobby of photography and would not mind to give you lower prices. One good practice is to pay them first to do your pre-wedding picture or video. If you satisfy with the results, you can contract him/her again for you wedding day. Wedding venue. If you think that you could save money by having your wedding money in your house for free of charge, make sure that your house if conformable enough for guest to gather around. We would like the guest to be comfortable so that they would stay longer. In the end, how could the wedding party be nice when guests are leaving early? Try to find good venue that match your theme. You would find that in some days or time, the price could be lower. Flowers. Have you asked around how much it will cost you for arranging wedding ceremony flowers? You get shocked when it could cost you above $700 right? Some of the flower vendor could charge you very cheap. But the be careful of vendor that will show you a good sample of flowers, and when it is time for your wedding day, he/she will arrange the flowers with some "not fresh" ones. Well, you can always cut your cost here buy ordering the flowers that are in season. Or, you can have a garden wedding without adding more budgets to flower decorations. There are other aspects to consider for your budget wedding. Overall, the important thing is to have proper planning for your budget wedding. You can cut cost up to 50% of what you have budgeted. Free Link Submit World Wide Web Webmaster Promotion (Comment on this)
8:00 pm	5 Tips for Solving Marital Money Issues Whether you and your spouse both work outside of the home, or one of you stays home with the children, it’s easy for one person to feel out of the financial picture. It’s important in a marriage to feel equal to your partner, on all levels of the playing field. Even if you don’t feel “stuck”, it’s important for couples to communicate openly about their financial situation, and try to better it together. Most marriages have their financial ups and downs. It can truly be a test to your relationship with your partner in dealing with the downs in particular. Here are some tips to help you deal with these situations in the quickest and calmest way possible. 1.) Pick the Right Time. Find a non stress time to sit down and have a discussion with your partner. Me and my husband love to go on evenings out, because it gives us a chance to discuss important issues in a non stress environment. If you must stay home, make sure the kids are not present during the conversation. 2.) Come Prepared. Write down the matters you have been thinking about beforehand so that you can stay on track during your discussion. 3.) Don’t Get Emotional. Avoid personal attacks towards your spouse. Use “I” instead of “you” when speaking. Don’t be argumentative and state how you feel. Don’t point fingers, and don’t start a fight. 4.) Take Turns. Common courtesy will help you achieve your goals. Feeling equal to your partner will come with a general respect between you and your partner. 5.) Make a Plan. Discuss the situation and future plans with your spouse. Make sure you have a basic budget in place and discuss you and your partner’s vital steps in your financial future. Compile a money to-do list and check your progress often. Remember the love you have for each other during the conversation, and listen Also to what your partner has to say during the discussion. If it seems to be a bad time in general to talk about it, remember that there will be another opportunity to let your partner know how you feel. Let it go, and pick a better time in the future. Seo Friendly Web Site Directory Feature Listing General Directory (Comment on this)
7:59 pm	5 Tips to Keep a Marriage Exciting The buildup to the wedding is so exciting; making arrangements, laying out a plan for your future lives together. But after the honeymoon ends, life begins. And while you may have the most wonderful marriage, even the most devoted couple is certain to find the married lifestyle to be at times, well let’s say, less than exciting. I mean let’s face it, you love the other person, but spending all day with the same individual makes for a lot of routine activities, that if you are not careful can drag on your relationship and make you both feel unsatisfied with what is otherwise a very loving relationship. As a result, it is vital that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will remain exciting merely on its own momentum. Rather, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to infuse their relationships with a bit of excitement. 1. Have Independent Interests You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. Having independent interests means that you have something unique to bring to conversations, ensuring that you both always have something interesting, and yes exciting, to say to one another. 2. Spontaneous Events While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous. So to mix things up; plan an afternoon or evening event that is completely new. Try that show your spouse has been dying to see, or visit that new restaurant that just opened up. 3. Never threaten separation This is less a rule to keep things exciting, and more one to keep them sound. A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages. 4. Weekend Trips One sure-fire way to inject some romance into your marriage is to take a vacation with just the two of you. But with the rigors of life and the costs of a trip, a full-blown vacation can seem hard to justify. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship. 5. Spice up the bedroom The final tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy or adult toy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage. Link Exchange Free Add Site Reciprocal Link Submission General Directory Of Web Sites (Comment on this)
7:57 pm	8 Tips To Revitalize Your Marriage! Do you remember when you used to dream about how wonderful it would be to get married? Of course, marriage is wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work, and there may even be times when leaving will look like a nice option. Marriage can have it's ups and downs and a successful mariage is only possible if both parties are prepared to work at it. Love must be nutured if they want to keep it from going stale. Has your marriage gone stale? Have you stopped spending the time that is necessary to cultivate a relationship that is fulfilling? If this is the case - read on. Here are 8 tips that could help make your marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating. 1. Forgive. Disagreements are only natural in any relationship. Wherever their are two people living in close proximity there are bound to be times when they disagree. Learning to forgive and not hold grudges is vital if they are to prevent bitterness from seeping in and souring things. People make mistakes and do stupid things. We need to be quick to say sorry, and quick to forgive. Married couples must never harbor grudges. Besides, harbouring grudges solves nothing. 2.Be respectful and honesty with one another. Don't take one another for granted. Learn to say thank you. Express your appreciation for the things your spouse does for you. Tell the truth. If there is a problem talk about it, don't bottle it up. Couples who face their problems and talk things through are the ones that are most likely to build a strong, loving relationships. 3. Remember to laugh often. The daily grind of life can make everything seem like a chore. A married couple should take time to share jokes and other crazy antics to decrease tension. Remember, laughter is healing. 4. Communicate. It may seem obvious, but good communication is the key to a fulfilling relationship. Don't let things fester. If the wife is feeling upset by something her husband has said or done she should tell him right away, she shouldn't assume that he will guess what is wrong. What may be obvious to her, may not be obvious to him! Husbands too need to be more forthcoming in sharing what is on their minds. Good communication is vital. 5. Decide together. It is important that couples make joint decisions on things like finances, children's education and upbringing, delegation of household chores, etc. One must not be superior over the other. If you can't reach agreement straight away, leave it for a while and come back to it again later. If there is still a stale mate, be prepared to given in to your spouse. Take turns in giving in to one another. Marriage isn't a competition 6. Don't forget the simple, small things. Husbands need to remember to compliment their wives. Don't forget to praise her for a job well done. Buy her flowers. Take her out for a romantic meal. Tell her how beautiful she is. Make her feel like she is your princess. Wives, should also be attentive to their husband's needs. Enjoy each other's company. Showing affection one for another is essential. 7. Stay in love Nurture your love for one another. Enjoy every new discovery and every new day with your spouse. 8. Stay intimate. Intimacy is only able to grow in a marriage where their is a strong commitment to one another. Learn to be honest with one another about what turns you on and what turns you off. The sexual side of marriage needn't wane. Greater knowledge of your spouse and deeper affection, should make love making a celebration of your life together. Make time to be intimate. Being married is not always easy. Especially in our society where so many marriages fail. But as long as both partners know that they have each other to hold on to, it should be a rewarding relationship. Be there for each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and til death do us part”. Free Web Directory Web General Directory Link Submit Directory (Comment on this)
7:55 pm	10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship 1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be! 2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven's sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!" 3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here's a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, "How do I look?" (And she's wearing a dress you don't particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.) Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, "You look great." You don't really mean it and a part of her knows you really don't mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal - we all have done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here's how to match the words with the nonverbal: "I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.) She's not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She's not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that! 4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!" 5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I'm not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner. 6. Let YOUR needs be known - loudly. Be a little - no, be a lot - self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here's a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "win him back." So she begins an all out effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "be nice" and meet every need he ever said he had. She's going to "fill his tank with goodies." Doesn't work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even resentful: "Why is she doing this NOW!" She's hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive - if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine - just doesn't work. It's perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn't say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so "nice and caring?" Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: "I need…x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?" He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, "What about my needs?" You respond, "I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly." Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn't you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn't that interaction move toward a trusting relationship? 7. State who YOU are - loudly. It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person. This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you're like most of us, you haven't given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don't you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities? Don't you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You're concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life? Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn't destroy trust. But it doesn't create it either. And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for? And then…begin letting significant people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character. They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you. 8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don't stop, you demand they stop. If they don't stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment. To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well? 9. Charge Neutral. When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don't speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship. You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won't fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don't people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others? Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your "quiet center," remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness. 10. Dig into the dirt. Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy. General Web Search Engine Internet Directory Search Add Links Directory (Comment on this)